Empathy Doesn’t Grow on Trees

I have mentioned to you guys how busy I’ve been lately and I mentioned in my last few blogs how pressed I feel, but some how I still managed to get into a very familiar roe with my hubby over, of all things, whose more exhausted.

Now I know a lot you ladies who read my blog are working moms, and many of you have husbands so I bet this argument sounds quite familiar to you too. We were sitting on the couch, he had just gotten home from work and I was in the middle of a very long day with our five children. We were both tired and hungry and my husband turned to me and said, “What’s for dinner? I don’t smell anything?” That my friends was the start of our very own Cuban Missile Crisis! We got into this back and forth debate about who had the more difficult job and who’s life was full of more work. We were both trying to convince each other that our day was longer, more difficult and more exhausting than the other person’s day. After about ten minutes I finally relented and decided to let the kids eat whatever they could find.

I would like to think that I won because he ended up cooking dinner, but I think it would be more accurate to say that everybody won because we all ate a hot meal. The thing is we seem to be competing for worst day ever more and more these days. I don’t know why that is, maybe because we’re both tired parents, or possibly because we both want empathy from the other person.

Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated, we all want to feel like our spouse understands how important our role is to the way our family functions. Yet, the question that I have to ask  myself is why do I feel the need to have my husband validate my worth as a wife and mother by always acknowledging that I have the harder job, or do the most work?  More and more I crave empathy from him and I think he needs that from me too. I want my husband to let me know that he understands how difficult it is for me to do the things that I’m doing day in and day out, and if he doesn’t I start to feel like maybe he doesn’t appreciate me enough. Even as I’m writing this I’m wondering does he need that same thing from me as well.

Although we’ve only been married for eleven years I think I have discovered that we both need a lot of the same things. The trick of the enemy seems to be isolation, and to divide and conquer. If he can convince you that you are all alone and that no one else is going through what you’re experiencing, and if he can divide us and make us think that the other person doesn’t want to understand what you’re going through, then our relationship will be in serious trouble.

The bible talks about two being better than one and how important it is that what God brings together not being separated. Unfortunately, not showing enough empathy and compassion for our husbands or wives(if you’re a guy) can really harm your relationship. After a long hard day, I don’t always feel like making sure my husband feels like I understand how hard his day was and that I care about his issues just as much as my own, but that’s how good marriages become great marriages. Love is long suffering and very compassionate. When you love someone you show them by freely giving your compassion and your listening ear.

Having said all that you guys know that I’m not a perfect wife or anything like that, but I am open to growing and learning new things. How about sharing some of your best advice in the comment section. I would love to know how you guys handle empathy and compassion in your relationships. Thanks for stopping by.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

If by any chance you are a control freak like me then you might be able to relate to my topic sentence. I don’t know why but I always seem to get hung up on the little things that won’t mean anything to me five years from now. The crazy thing about obsessing over the small things is it can rob you of enjoying everything else. You really do magnify what you focus on, and when you only notice things that went wrong you don’t celebrate everything that went right.

When I focus on all the tiny little things that did not happen the way that I planned, I tend to ignore all the many things that are perfectly fine. Without fail, if a hundred things go well, but ten things don’t my day is ruined! I came to this conclusion about myself because I’ve been really worried about a whole list of things lately and most of them are small.

I was cleaning my bathroom today and thinking about all the things that I’m worried about and I decided to take that opportunity to pray and talk to God about everything that was on my mind. As I began to fire things off one by one I couldn’t help but notice that I sounded like I was whining. I also felt like all the things that I was naming were all just so insignificant.

I feel like I am sabotaging my own chance at satisfaction sometimes, because I always seem to find the negative, or a tiny little unimportant detail and lock in on it like a missile.

Of course I’m not just discovering this about myself, I have known this for a long while, but I think I’m just now mature enough to realize that I need to make a change. It’s kind of like I just woke up one day and decided that I wanted to stop stressing over things that simply don’t matter that much.

The major question is, how can I do that? How can I go from worrying about every little thing to trusting that all things are working together for my good and that the God I serve is Lord, even over the details of my life? Friends, I could give you all the verses that I’ve ever read, but I think the simple truth is it’s a daily commitment to die to my flesh. Each day I have to make the decision to trust God with my obsession over details of my life. I’m a recovering/ struggling/ ex-control freak, so as you can imagine this is a true battle for me at times.

I will say that I find a lot of security in the thought that I can truly come to God and cast all my cares upon him, leave them there and forget them. I love that God doesn’t want us to be burdened and heavy with worry. God wants us to trust him with all the details and all the planning of our life. As difficult as it is for me I realize that my way is not working. I’ve done it this way for so many years and it’s never delivered me from trouble. Worrying about the problem has never actually solved anything. It’s so hard though guys!!! Trying to break bad habits is extremely hard, but in the case very necessary!

I want to hear from you guys on what you do to keep yourself from obsessing over the small stuff? How do you eliminate the worry so that you can enjoy the things that do turn out right? Share with me how you break free from worrying about things that shouldn’t matter? Do you have any tips on ways to deal with giving up control and trusting God.


A Firm Foundation

In my last blog I shared with you all about how I feel like I can barley keep up with my life these days. I have been really into listening to the bible on my phone while I get ready in the mornings or an inspiring message from one of my favorite televangelists. This morning I was listening to a message about how important it is to have a firm foundation. He made the point that before we can become what God wants us to be He has to build a firm foundation first. The best way to do that is with adversity and character building problems for us to work through.

The more I thought about how my family is transitioning right now and how we are working hard to overcome the challenges that we face, the more it dawned on me that God is creating in me a firm foundation. I mean there can be no other explanation for all the drama I’m going through right? Okay, I’m kidding, but I really do think that God could be using my trials to help create a strong foundation for my family and myself as well.

You know when I think of some of the things that I have been through in my life and the fact that it was difficult to experience at the time, but I am a much better person because of those trials. I was talking to my little sister today and we were just  reminiscing about the dark days after my mom died and I felt like my life was over. However, it was during that time that I became a woman. The moment they rolled my mother out of my house on a stretcher and put her in the back of an ambulance, I was done being a child. I grew up that day in my yard watching her body being driven away.

We use to think that or Mom was so strict, but after she died everything that she taught us, came bursting through. Not only did my sister and I graduate from high school but, we went away to college and graduated from there too. We got married and had children; and yet, I know none of that would have been possible had she not been the no nonsense type of Mother who pushed us to be the best and never accepted less from us girls. Don’t get me wrong we had a great Mom and a pretty great childhood, which is why I feel so grateful to God that I had her to help create my foundation.

Now, even more things have been added to me, and some of them were good, some not so good. The reason why I’m sharing this with you is because now that I’m a Mother and a Wife I realize how important it is to have a firm foundation. It could be, that in your family the foundation is being built right now, and that is not always a bad thing. It’s so hard to endure trouble and weather the storm, but we have to remember that it’s all working together for our good. You see when you have the right foundation whatever you build on that foundation will be more secure. That house that is built upon the rock will be able to withstand the test of time.

That does not exempt the house with the strong foundation from being beat upon by the winds and waves. In fact sometimes it might feel like every storm comes your way to test the strength of your bonds, and to try the reigns of your heart.  However, all those trials do not destroy the rock, they simply remove all the hardness, and take away the rough places. I would even say that they help make the rock beautiful.

It just recently dawned on me that everything that was put in my foundation has a purpose and helped to make me a better woman. Every storm, every test and trial, contributed to the person that I am still becoming. I do hope at some point I can look back and say, “thank God those days are over!” Although a small part of me might miss these days having young children and being relatively young myself, I will always have the memories of being a young family.

My Crazy Busy Life

Hello Friends, did you miss me? I have been stuck on a never ending carousel of  back to school, homework, volunteering and pick up drop off! I confess that I am utterly overwhelmed with my new schedule right now! I feel like I’m in school instead of my kids! Every night we do homework for hours and then we go to bed to wake up and do it all over again. As a previous homeschooler we are still new to the whole school thing, and I feel just like a fish out of water. We have four teachers to deal with everyday, and four classes to volunteer for, four lunches to make every night and don’t even get me started on how many times I have picked people up from school because they didn’t feel well and they’ve only been in school for six weeks!

I think you can kind of see where I’m going with this…I’m tired! I feel like I’m being steam rolled and I then asked to run a marathon with a blindfold on and one arm tied behind my back! Okay even I had to laugh at that one.  My point is that I am out of whack and really struggling to make time for my writing schedule each week.

I truly enjoy writing and I’ve already started writing my second book and making plans for expanding my blog into something else as well. However, I can’t seem to get organized enough to find the time in my day to be super woman like I planned. In my mind I have a list of things that I can see myself accomplishing for the day, but in reality I seem to only get about twenty percent of those things done with fifty percent of my day being used just to do those things.

At this point I’m starting to wonder, how can I get this under control? When will my life calm down and settle into something that resembles a well oiled machine? I feel like my family is transitioning into a new phase of life, but I don’t have a rule book or a manual to tell me what to do. Do you guys ever have those thoughts? Do you ever feel like you’re barley keeping up with the pace of your life?  I do have days where I am the master of my day, but those days are few and far between.

Lately I’ve been thinking about things that I can do to organize my day and get my bearings back. Of course I have been trying to use my phone and that does help but, I think I’m the kind of person who really keeps up with things best if I write them down. The funny part in all of this back to school madness is that, my youngest child and I are hanging out more and she is a blast. I get to focus all my attention on her and let me tell you she is a ball of fun! I am convinced that she is like the smartest baby in the world! After having two boys back to back having a daughter made me remember why I wanted another little lady!

Maybe one day I’ll be good at this parenting thing, but right now I’m still learning as I go along. I never thought that a day would come when I would be racing to the school just to get a spot in the pick up line, or excited about baking cookies for the school bake sale while planning the next chapter of my second book!

As always I am open to any tips and tricks you ladies may want to leave for me in the comment section. What are your go to tips for a better day, or your favorite home remedy for a sore throat? As always thanks for reading and don’t forget to like this post!

Sometimes you have to go slow to go Fast

If you know me personally then you know how impatient I can be, I always seem to be rushing off to some place or to do something. I have one of those personalities that won’t allow me to just sit still and enjoy a relaxing day at home. Typically whenever my friends call me I’m in the car or headed out the door. I often joke that I have an internal clock that’s always telling me I’m running late. I think because of this God paired me with a man who is never ever in a hurry to go any where or do anything! No matter if he’s running late by a whole day he’s not going to rush. It drives me absolutely crazy!! However, If I’m being honest he rarely forgets anything and he makes fewer mistakes than I do.

I can’t remember where I heard this from but, someone once said, “sometimes you have to go slow to go fast.” The first time I heard that it was like a lightbulb came on in my head. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to slow down so that I didn’t make careless mistakes or forget something. I was rushing around the house the other day, trying to get out the house quickly when it dawned on me, “why am I rushing?” Once I heard that thought ring out in my head I stopped and really asked myself why was I trying to leave in such a hurry?

Well friends, every since that day I have been questioning my own heart and my reasons for rushing all the time. That has lead me to try and slow down and make sure that I’m enjoying my life, and really living my life everyday. The more I thought about it the more I began to see that this wasn’t just one area of my life that I was racing through, but in several areas. I have the hardest time waiting on the Lord. I always seem to want things right now. If I pray and my prayers don’t get answered immediately I start to think that God isn’t going to answer my prayers.

When I read about Job, Joseph, or David I’m always in awe of how well they waited on the Lord to deliver them. Since I’m being open and honest with you all I feel as though I can tell you that I have not mastered the art of waiting with joy. I have a list of things that I’m praying for and a list of things that I’m, “waiting on God,” to do in my life.

It is a lesson that I am continually learning. It’s a lesson that I never seem to learn so well that I can move on to the next lesson. I do not have a check list of things that I have mastered or conquered for good. It would be more accurate to say that I am ever coming into the knowledge of the truth, whether it be about myself or about God.

I’m curious to know do you all have anything that you seem to always be learning? Any life lessons or hard truths that you have to own up to time and time again? Don’t be ashamed to share something that you struggle with, we’re all here to help! Let me hear about it in the comment section!

Iron Sharpens Iron

I wish there was a pill that I could take that would give me self control immediately. I think there was a time when I was self-discipline personified, but now I’m starting to think there may be no hope for me! Knowing this about myself I’m making an effort to improve, so I decided to accept one of my friends offer to go walking with her. It turned out to be quite the experience, let me tell you what I learned about myself.

My neighbor who lives two doors down is a very health conscious person and I always feel so inspired every time I see her. Well we were talking one day while we were waiting for our kindergartners to get out and she mentioned that she’d been walking if I wanted to join her sometime. Normally I just smile and nod and say maybe, but this time I said, “sure let’s go tomorrow.”

Oh my goodness, I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, but it was probably something simple and very quick. I thought we would maybe walk a mile or two at a leisurely pace and that would be all. Well ladies and gentleman that is not what happened at all! We started walking and we were laughing and having a really good time and I thought we were almost ready to turn back and then she said oh I like to get on the trail, and I stopped right away. There’s a really long walking/running/biking trail that goes around the whole city. I just hate the thought of walking through the woods and something or someone jumping out at me, so I never walk that way. I explained this to her and she assured me that the trail was completely safe. Once again I said, “Sure, why not?”

After we had walked on the trail for about thirty minutes, I finally asked the burning question, “when are we going to turn around and head back?” That’s when she rocked my world and said, “Oh, didn’t I tell you I walk six miles everyday.” DUN, DUN, DUN!!! It was at this moment I knew I had been kidnapped. The look on my face made her literally scream with laughter, but I was devastated guys.

We actually walked up hills, down hills through the river and over the woods! However, when I got back home I agreed to go again with her the next day. You see what I learned is that I have fallen into some bad habits lately, and the only way to change the things that I don’t like about myself is by changing my habits. I have to change all of my little things that can ad up and have a huge impact.

It’s only been three weeks since I joined her and we started walking, but I look forward to spending time with them and It feels good to get out of the house. There have been mornings when I couldn’t go, but we’ve fallen into a great routine and I enjoy it, even if it is a really long walk.

I already knew that if you have negative influences in your life it could rub off on you, but I found the opposite to be true as well. Being around people who are positive and inspire you to be better is a side effect that anyone would enjoy. I believe the book of proverbs refers to this as, Iron sharpening iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.(Prov.27:17)

I want you guys to ask yourself a question, do your friends sharpen you, and make you better more than anything else? Are you hanging with a group of people who make yo want to be a better Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter and Friend? If the answer is anything other than yes, why not?

Feel free to leave a comment and let’s talk about it!



No Sick Days

I hate being sick! It all started this Wednesday when I got a call from my son’s school that he had a fever and needed to be picked up from school. Now if you have more than one child you know that this is the beginning of a contagious chain reaction. The next person to get sick was my husband, then, my daughters, then my older sons, and finally me. We have one more day left in our labor day holiday and we are all struggling to get well. It’s a crazy tricky thing to be a mom and take a sick day! It just seems like when Moms get sick, we don’t have the luxury of laying abed for three days until our sniffles are gone. My husband literally could not get out of bed for two straight days!! However, when I got sick I still had to change diapers and participate in life.

There will probably be no long breaks for me, no two days in bed, and no fun barbeques either, but that’s life right? Being a Mom is not a part-time job, there are no holidays off, no sick days, no vacations, no this is a life long gig. Before this stomach bug hit our family, we had plans to go on a big family outing to the beach or an apple orchard. My plans are technically ruined, but since I’m no longer racing back and forth to the bathroom, I’m okay with that!

The truth is, I’m learning that in life we make plans and sometimes they fall apart. The way I envisioned my long holiday weekend did not include me being sick. How we adjust to life’s little surprises can be the difference between living life completely stressed out, or one that takes the good with the bad and still finds the joy in everything.

I want to be in the latter category. It can be difficult to roll with the punches, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. I like to think that everything in life happens for a reason, so maybe there is a bigger reason for my whole entire family getting sick and keeping us at home this weekend instead of out enjoying ourselves on the beach.

Have you guys ever had your plans fall apart due to circumstances beyond your control? How easy is it for you to roll with the punches? Can you take a hit and keep on going, or do you find yourself getting knocked down by life time and time again? I want to hear from you guys in the comment section!

Life As We Know It

Have you ever thought about how your life would have been if you had done something differently? Perhaps if you would have gone to a different college or made better grades in high school, or what if you had married your first love? I was thinking about my life recently and all the things that have happen to me that have helped bring me to the place I am now, both physically and spiritually. I think to some degree we all wonder about how different our lives would be had we done even one thing differently. It’s natural to wonder about all of life’s “what-if’s”  However, reminiscing on the past and living with constant regret are two totally different things.

One thing that I think about often is how different I was when my mom was alive. Even though I was still a teenager, I was old enough to know that my life would have gone in a totally different direction if she would have lived. I was a junior in high school and before my mom died I was looking at colleges based off which school had the best campus life, and a great social atmosphere, if you know what I mean. (wink, wink)

I truly believe that my mother was a seed that brought forth much fruit in my life as well as in the lives of other family members. I think about those handful of times that I prayed to God to allow me and a certain guy be together forever, or that a crush would suddenly wake up and realize that he couldn’t live without me! Ha! Thank God that those prayers didn’t get answered right?

What do you do though, when you think about what could have been with regret? It happens to the best of us ladies, so we might as well admit that we have regrets about things. Maybe you regret not buying those red pumps in your size when they were on sale that one time. Perhaps you regret waiting so long to finally follow your dreams or run a marathon. No matter what your regrets are I learned something about the feeling of regret that I want to share with you guys. “Let em’ go!” That’s it, that’s my major epiphany. Regrets weigh you down and keep you from enjoy the life that you have now.

Thinking about all the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s won’t change what actually happen. We can’t change the past, but we can be thankful for the present and hopeful for our future. I wasted so much time trying to correct my past mistakes, and mourning over all the things that I did when I was younger, or all the things that I wish I wouldn’t have said last week. Friends, I have found that we can not overcome what I did last week or last year by reliving them over and over again. No, the way that we move on is by embracing life as we know it right now. Unlike some of my favorite movies and books, we will not wake up one day and get to live out our other option, or the life that we didn’t choose.

We have to accept that all things really do work together for our good. We must not allow the enemy’s voice to trick us into losing our focus. It’s very hard to be happy about what you have if you’re so focused on what you think you lost. If we lost it, if we didn’t gain something that we were chasing then we didn’t really need it. I don’t want to sound too cliché but we can’t allow dissatisfaction to steal our joy. That’s all regret does Friends, it steals our joy and pleasure from the day that we’ve been given.

The next time that we get tempted to dwell on what we think we missed or what we could’ve had if we would have just done…fill in the blank, recognize that God does not accuse us or remind us of our sins/shortcomings. The bible calls Satan the accuser of the brethren, he is the only one who tries to remind you of who you used to be, or all the things that you could’ve had. Don’t lose your peace over things that God has thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.

I hope this helped someone to identify one of the little sneaky ways the enemy of our soul comes to steal our joy. Have a blessed weekend everyone and don’t forget to hit the like button!

The Right to Remain Silent

These past two weeks have been a real world wind for me, my children went back to school and my husband was gone for a few weeks and I was treading water for a while there! Well in the midst of back to school shopping and saying goodbye to summer and hello to our bedtimes again my children ran into a few problems with a neighborhood bully. Now I feel like I need to say that my children were homeschooled until 2015 and up until then they have not had very many run-ins with bullies.

When they started school they had some encounters with rude kids, but all in all they seem to find good people to befriend and play with. Well all that changed this summer when one of the older girls started being mean to them and a few of the other younger kids on the block. It was hard at first to see my children upset and my first instinct was to go outside and deal with that situation and protect my children from that evil little child who was bullying my kids, but I felt restrained from marching out there and handling things.

Instead, I felt that God wanted me to be quiet and allow my children to handle the situation for themselves. I could hear that still small voice speaking to my heart saying, “No Torre, let them learn how to stand up to bullies. They can do it, you can trust God to protect them just like He protected you.” I knew it was God so I let the blinds down to the kitchen window and waited for them to come back inside.

We had a long talk about what was said and how it made them feel and why it was important to stand up for themselves, and it was probably harder for me to experience than it was for them. I knew the best thing for me to do was to offer them advice and talk to them about how I handle bullies and make sure that I let them know they can always talk to me and their dad about what’s happening. I tell my children to let their teacher’s know, and any other adults that might need to know. We talked for a long time that evening, and I learned so much about my children and I learned so much about myself.

Being silent during a time when I want to speak out most is the second hardest thing for me to do! The first hard thing was giving birth to five children with heads like their dad!!!After talking with my kids, I realized how mature they were. At the same time I began to understand why it was important for their growth and development that I not try to step in and save them from every bad situation. As much as I want to protect my children from every evil, that’s not what’s best for them every time. Some times it’s actually better for them to work through a problem on their own, while I practice being silent.

This doesn’t mean that I will be absent or that I won’t be there to guide them when they need me, but it does mean that I will allow them to learn how to handle real life situations. In the real world, people are rude and they say and do things that may hurt our feelings or make us angry. The fact is that I won’t always be there to step in and rescue them, no in the cold real world they will have to know how to handle themselves accordingly. You know what, that scares me so bad!! I hate the thought that my sweet little kiddos will have to learn to live in a world where mommy might not always be able to save them.

It’s even more difficult to be silent and allow them the opportunity to figure things out on their own. However, I guess the truth is when I was a kid my mom managed to do it for me. I respect her so much more now that I know how hard it is to trust God with your most prized possessions, after all He knew and  loved them before we ever met them. Have yo ever had to be quiet when you really wanted to say something? How did you handle a tough situation that you knew God wanted yo to be silent through? Maybe you didn’t have to worry about a child, maybe it was a work thing or an injustice done to you. How did you find the strength to keep quiet and let God fight your battle for you? Share your story in the comment section.

Change of Birth Plans

I feel like my blog has been so deep lately. I’ve been really talking about some heavy topics and I think I might have the perfect cure for that. I’m going to tell you guys about the night I gave birth to my oldest daughter. Now I have to tell you that my first birth experience was not at all what I wanted. It was thirteen hours long and I had to have all kinds of things that I didn’t plan on, so I bought a book by Jackie Mize called supernatural childbirth. I read that book cover to cover and decided that I wanted to give birth in two hours and that I wanted to have a natural child birth! What can I say, I’ve always been ambitious!

It was July 5, 2007 and we were living in North Carolina and it was hot. The temperature was about 100 degrees and when you factored in the heat index it felt like a 110 degrees outside!

Our air conditioner was only cooling the house down to about twenty degrees cooler than it was outside, so basically I was miserable! I was praying that she would not be ten days late like my son was, so I was doing everything to try and get her to come. I was walking up and down the street doing karate, squats up and down the hallway in my house, and I was doing all the other old wives tales that are said to induce labor as well. However, nothing was working and I remember staring out the window on the fourth of July watching the fire works go off thinking why am I still pregnant? My due date had come and gone three days earlier, and I was getting desperate to have my baby. I was running out of options, so I called my one Aunt, who swore by home remedies for every possible illness and she told me to take some castor oil, and out of sheer inpatients that is what I did. I can’t say that it works for everyone, or that it even actually was the reason that I went into labor, but it worked and I’m a believer now!

I had gone to all the trouble to write out my birth plan, bring food, pillows massage oils and music to play as I pushed out my beautiful baby daughter. I wanted the lights to be low and most importantly I did not want to take any drugs at all! I had planned to have an all natural birth, and then immediately take pictures after I did my makeup and styled my hair. I was going to have a ton of energy after giving birth since I wasn’t going to get an epidural, so my whole birth experience was going to be better than my first experience had been.

Well, it’s funny how reality is almost never like our plans! When we got to the hospital my contractions were getting stronger and stronger while we waited. The nurse couldn’t get a vein for my IV and my blood shot out of my arm all over the wall and my clothes. I was up on the bed, on my hands and knees rocking from side to side to try and deal with the contractions. The Midwife that happen to be on shift that night came in and started talking to me and taking all my important whatever’s. He, yes it was a male midwife, started to ask me a series of questions and determined that I was having back labor. He took his thumb and his pointer finger and placed them at a place on the small of my back and just like that my painful contraction went away and I immediately relaxed. He told me that he and his wife had ten children and that she delivered everyone of them all natural and that I could too.

Friends, I was like putty in his hands, he had taken away the discomfort of my contraction, thus wrapping me around his pinky finger! Wouldn’t you know it he had to leave and go check on his other patients so he showed my husband exactly how to touch me to help fight off my back labor pains. I will never forget he asked my husband, ” Did you catch how I did that?” to” which my husband replied yeah I got it!” The Midwife said great and promised to come back later and check on us, the moment that I had another contraction I called out to him to come and, “do the thing.” He came over and kind of poked me in the back a little and that was it.

Now you can probably imagine how terribly upset I became. I shouted and fussed! I could not understand why he would say he knew how to do it if he didn’t know how to do it!

I finally ended up begging for an epidural and delivering her three minutes before midnight. Nothing went according to plan! In fact everything that could go sideways did go sideways. In the end, there was no music playing softly in the background or a drug free delivery. No, there was no drug free delivery that night and plenty of yelling  and then I had a baby girl. The point of me telling yo this story is two fold, I want you to laugh a little, and I also want you to consider a time when things didn’t go according to your plan.

Did you fall apart or did you find a way to hold it together and create a new plan. When I realized that I was going to have my baby right after I got the epidural I was upset with myself for not waiting a few minutes longer. I was actually dialated to nine centimeters when I got the epidural.

They only gave it to me because I think they felt sorry for me. Right after I delivered her I immediately regretted the fact that I didn’t hang in there a few minutes longer, because I had to wait two hours just for the medication to ware off. Friends, wait on your promises or your dreams to come to pass. Be patient while you wait and believe that God can do just what He said. It may get hard, yo may feel uncomfortable but stick to your birth plan, even if things don’t go exactly like you wanted, you still have a promise.

My problem was that I let every little pain make me think that I should give up and change direction. Now sometimes things aren’t going to go as we plan, and that’s okay too. Sometimes the blessing is in the journey and not the arrival.

Share your stories in the comment section! Let me know how you all feel about a change of plans. Do you panic or do you roll with the punches?