Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

I really don’t like going to the doctor! I feel like every time I go the doctor tells me something crazy, or I get the rudest doctor available. This recent time was no different. With the military your doctors change so much, I use to have a great doctor. He was professional, but he had great people skills too! Unfortunately, this time I walked in and I had a new doctor, she was a female and that is the only thing good that I can say about her. The short explanation is she was just rude and cold! There was one particular moment when I was talking to her about my weight and I was asking her for some tips on nutrition and things that I could do to help facilitate the process of losing weight for me.  Instead of telling me some helpful tips or discussing how I could schedule something with a nutritionist she looked at me and said, “Why don’t you just have surgery. I mean you look like you could stand to lose a 100 pounds.”

Friends, when she said that to me I just looked at her baffled. I was stunned that a doctor would say skip the process and get surgery! I mean I do need to lose weight, but I don’t need surgery! After about thirty seconds of me just staring at her and wrestling with my wicked thoughts, I said, “No thank you, I would prefer to lose weight naturally. I will never consider weight loss surgery just to lose a few pounds.” She then had to leave the room for something and when she came back in she apologized for, “if” she sounded rude and offensive. I simply nodded my head and took my leave.

After I left I replayed the conversation over and over again in my head. I thought of at least a million things that I wish I would have said. The amazing part is the real reason I didn’t let her have it is that I am not a reflection of people, I’m a reflection of God. That means that I will not treat people the way they treat me, because I am not created in the image of this world. I was created in the image of God, and the Holy Spirit won’t let me do to others what they do to me. This does not mean that I don’t sometimes mess up, or speak out of turn, because I am not perfect.

I am however, God’s child and I do not return with a rude comment simply because I am offended by someone else’s rude comment.  1Pet.2:23 says in reference to Jesus”Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again…”  Matthew5:46-48 talks about only loving those who love us, and only being kind to our friends, what reward is there for that? If I’m only nice to people who are nice to me and rude to people who are rude to me then who is my Lord and Master? Who am I emulating?

What image will we reflect when we encounter rude people? Will we throw away our love for God and get nasty with someone who gets nasty with us? Or will we remember who our Lord is and still reflect his image in the face of offense? You know, I could have lost my cool and told her what I really wanted to say.  Sadly, that would have only made me feel good for a short time. I know that later on I would have felt guilty about losing my cool and allowing someone to drag me down to their level.

The real me is just not comfortable allowing someone else to have control over my actions, my thoughts and my emotions. if someone can make you change who you are or respond to them in a way that is outside of their character then they can rule over you. If we’re not careful instead of reflecting God’s image we’ll be reflecting the image of the person who wronged us.

I want to leave you all with this, “Who is your Lord, and do you project that image in the earth to the people around you friends and foes alike?

Spring Cleaning

It’s almost that time of year again at my house. The time of year when I purposely destroy every room of my house and put it back together again, while simultaneously throwing away several bags of trash.

I’m the type of person that prefers the bad news first, ripping the Band-Aid off, and volunteering to go first for things that are wholly unpleasant and fill you with dread. Which is my way of saying that our garage was terrible!!! I mean we had boxes upon boxes and storage bins full of clothes, shoes and junk!  Don’t even get me started on all the yard tools and outdoor furniture we had amassed!

I had decided that we would clean out the garage while my husband was at work because he is the type of person who likes to keep things, “because you never know when you might need it.” I am the kind of person who thinks that if you can’t remember the last time you used it, then you should get rid of it!  After I decided that I wasn’t going to leave the garage until it was sparkling clean, the rest was all about team work. Boy did we work!! We did take a few breaks for water and lunch, but we got after it!!

We did have a few hiccups, and a few times where we just looked around and felt overwhelmed with all the mess, but we pressed through and got it done. Because I decided that we should go through every bin and every box, we had a ton of junk out every where. At one point my kids friend came by to ask if we were moving! Which we are, but that’s not until later this year.

The beautiful thing is, the more boxes we pulled out, the cleaner things became. We went through box after box, throwing things into the trash pile and we did this for every shelf in every section of the garage. Thankfully, because there were so many of us cleaning, we had one person sweeping, one person breaking down boxes, one person bagging trash and still had two people tapping boxes and restoring bins to their rightful place. Finally, it got to the point where all we had left to do was to load the truck and that was probably the hardest part!  Trying to fit all that trash into our truck took some creative thinking, but we got it done. Also knowing that we would be throwing it away and that it would be gone for good.

The best part was how good we all felt when we looked at the final outcome. Our garage was so nice and clean that we just wanted to hangout in there.  Looking at the garage was satisfying, all we needed was some hero music to be playing while the wind blew our capes back for us. Seriously, it felt amazing to see what we accomplished in a few hours. In fact it felt so good that it made want to clean out other things, closets, the back yard, the playroom! I even wanted to go and clean my oven!!

I was pumped, but then I started to look inward and think about my spiritual garage. I know that I have a lot of clutter and junk that’s clogging up my spirit. With all the changes that we’ve been through as a nation these past five months, there’s a lot of junk lodged in my heart and mind that I need to get pull out and throw away. I started considering all these different kinds of detox’s that I could do to kind of clean out my physical body.

I started thinking about how important this time is in the Christian faith. The weeks leading up to the crucifixion and the resurrection. This is a time when many Faiths fast or abstain from certain things in observance of Passover and Easter Sunday.

I guess the question that I ask myself is, “Am I willing to commit to cleaning or detoxing myself the same way that I did to cleaning out the garage?” I already know that it will be a long, messy, tiresome, and at times, unpleasant job, but in the end it will be worth it.

That’s what I want to leave you with today? I’m a little behind and I’m currently under the weather, but I thought that this was an appropriate topic for the start of spring. Have a blessed weekend and thanks for stopping by my blog today!

Life Goes On

By now the whole world knows that we, America, have a new President. Now, I certainly don’t want to get too deep into how I feel about it or the President-Elect, but I can tell you guys that I was very disappointed after the election. I think more importantly I was disappointed that what I wanted didn’t happen. Honestly, I’ve been disappointed with the whole election season and I’m glad it’s over!

However, I heard the President’s speech about how life goes on and you know what…he’s right. Life does go on, it may be more complicated, it may be more unpleasant at first, but life goes on and so, we must go on as well. I will not try to convince you or myself that everything is going to be just fine, because with change comes uncertainty. What I will offer you is that we serve a God who has withstood the test of time, and he has not changed. We can trust God.

I was reminded by my lovely husband that God is the one who sets up kings and removes them. (Dan.2:21.) That is what I would like to leave you all with right now. Let’s remember to pray for all of our leaders and pray for our country. We need Godly leaders, but surley we can not make it without people who are willing to sacrifice their time and pray for others.

Amen and God bless!

Thank God for my Failures

I hate to fail! I like winning, or achieving my goals that I set for myself, and really who doesn’t right? I always picture myself as a winner and I strive for perfection with everything that I do; however, I can’t even count the amount of times that I have fallen short of the mark that I set for myself. And yet, I would credit most of my successes to the fact that I had previously failed and learned some very valuable lessons that helped me to try again.

As much as we hate to fail at something experiencing the disappointment of failure can often times be one of life’s most valuable and most beneficial lessons. I would argue that failure is a critical part to our development and maturity. I consider the fact that God never said that we would not fail or make mistakes, instead He ask that we get back up, come to him, and ultimately trust him to mend our broken pieces. Even though God created us in His image He did not require perfection from us, but relationship. I say that to make the point that even God knew we would fail sometimes and yet He still loves us.

Now would be the perfect time for me to name a bunch of awesome things that were created because someone failed or fell short of reaching their actual goal. Instead I’m going to tell you that nothing challenges you and cultivates change in you the way failure does. Failure is the best way to motivate you to keep going, to try again and to never give up on your! I pray that we always succeed, but I thank God for every time that I failed because I learned how to get up after a fall and run harder.

If I had never failed at anything I don’t know what kind of woman I would be today. As hard as my life was at times, I’m so glad that I was afflicted. I would love to say that I would be the same person, but I know that I would not. I was haughty and selfish just to name a few. I thought that the whole world revolved around me and I would throw a tantrum if things didn’t go my way. I didn’t know how to deal with the pain of failure. Honestly, making a bad grade was one thing, and I hated that too, but spending days preparing for the cheerleading team only to not make it was hard. Spending weeks practicing throwing the shot putt only to go to my track meets week after week and never win a medal was failure to me. However, I gained something during my time on the track team, and I gained something while trying out for cheerleading that can not be measured by a medal.

My question to whoever is reading this is, what did your failures teach you? When you look back on your life have you failed enough? If we are not failing then perhaps we are not trying. I want to encourage you to make an attempt at something new this week. Try and do something that you’ve been afraid to try, and if you fail congratulations!! I always thought that someone saying “A for effort,” was a comment we made to the loser or the one who didn’t get it right. However, now I know that you really do get an A for effort, you failing at something gives you more knowledge to go back and get it right next time!

Friends try and do something different this month and try until you get it right. Don’t allow the fear of failure or inadequacy deter you from reaching new heights!

Life As We Know It

Have you ever thought about how your life would have been if you had done something differently? Perhaps if you would have gone to a different college or made better grades in high school, or what if you had married your first love? I was thinking about my life recently and all the things that have happen to me that have helped bring me to the place I am now, both physically and spiritually. I think to some degree we all wonder about how different our lives would be had we done even one thing differently. It’s natural to wonder about all of life’s “what-if’s”  However, reminiscing on the past and living with constant regret are two totally different things.

One thing that I think about often is how different I was when my mom was alive. Even though I was still a teenager, I was old enough to know that my life would have gone in a totally different direction if she would have lived. I was a junior in high school and before my mom died I was looking at colleges based off which school had the best campus life, and a great social atmosphere, if you know what I mean. (wink, wink)

I truly believe that my mother was a seed that brought forth much fruit in my life as well as in the lives of other family members. I think about those handful of times that I prayed to God to allow me and a certain guy be together forever, or that a crush would suddenly wake up and realize that he couldn’t live without me! Ha! Thank God that those prayers didn’t get answered right?

What do you do though, when you think about what could have been with regret? It happens to the best of us ladies, so we might as well admit that we have regrets about things. Maybe you regret not buying those red pumps in your size when they were on sale that one time. Perhaps you regret waiting so long to finally follow your dreams or run a marathon. No matter what your regrets are I learned something about the feeling of regret that I want to share with you guys. “Let em’ go!” That’s it, that’s my major epiphany. Regrets weigh you down and keep you from enjoy the life that you have now.

Thinking about all the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s won’t change what actually happen. We can’t change the past, but we can be thankful for the present and hopeful for our future. I wasted so much time trying to correct my past mistakes, and mourning over all the things that I did when I was younger, or all the things that I wish I wouldn’t have said last week. Friends, I have found that we can not overcome what I did last week or last year by reliving them over and over again. No, the way that we move on is by embracing life as we know it right now. Unlike some of my favorite movies and books, we will not wake up one day and get to live out our other option, or the life that we didn’t choose.

We have to accept that all things really do work together for our good. We must not allow the enemy’s voice to trick us into losing our focus. It’s very hard to be happy about what you have if you’re so focused on what you think you lost. If we lost it, if we didn’t gain something that we were chasing then we didn’t really need it. I don’t want to sound too cliché but we can’t allow dissatisfaction to steal our joy. That’s all regret does Friends, it steals our joy and pleasure from the day that we’ve been given.

The next time that we get tempted to dwell on what we think we missed or what we could’ve had if we would have just done…fill in the blank, recognize that God does not accuse us or remind us of our sins/shortcomings. The bible calls Satan the accuser of the brethren, he is the only one who tries to remind you of who you used to be, or all the things that you could’ve had. Don’t lose your peace over things that God has thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.

I hope this helped someone to identify one of the little sneaky ways the enemy of our soul comes to steal our joy. Have a blessed weekend everyone and don’t forget to hit the like button!

Change of Birth Plans

I feel like my blog has been so deep lately. I’ve been really talking about some heavy topics and I think I might have the perfect cure for that. I’m going to tell you guys about the night I gave birth to my oldest daughter. Now I have to tell you that my first birth experience was not at all what I wanted. It was thirteen hours long and I had to have all kinds of things that I didn’t plan on, so I bought a book by Jackie Mize called supernatural childbirth. I read that book cover to cover and decided that I wanted to give birth in two hours and that I wanted to have a natural child birth! What can I say, I’ve always been ambitious!

It was July 5, 2007 and we were living in North Carolina and it was hot. The temperature was about 100 degrees and when you factored in the heat index it felt like a 110 degrees outside!

Our air conditioner was only cooling the house down to about twenty degrees cooler than it was outside, so basically I was miserable! I was praying that she would not be ten days late like my son was, so I was doing everything to try and get her to come. I was walking up and down the street doing karate, squats up and down the hallway in my house, and I was doing all the other old wives tales that are said to induce labor as well. However, nothing was working and I remember staring out the window on the fourth of July watching the fire works go off thinking why am I still pregnant? My due date had come and gone three days earlier, and I was getting desperate to have my baby. I was running out of options, so I called my one Aunt, who swore by home remedies for every possible illness and she told me to take some castor oil, and out of sheer inpatients that is what I did. I can’t say that it works for everyone, or that it even actually was the reason that I went into labor, but it worked and I’m a believer now!

I had gone to all the trouble to write out my birth plan, bring food, pillows massage oils and music to play as I pushed out my beautiful baby daughter. I wanted the lights to be low and most importantly I did not want to take any drugs at all! I had planned to have an all natural birth, and then immediately take pictures after I did my makeup and styled my hair. I was going to have a ton of energy after giving birth since I wasn’t going to get an epidural, so my whole birth experience was going to be better than my first experience had been.

Well, it’s funny how reality is almost never like our plans! When we got to the hospital my contractions were getting stronger and stronger while we waited. The nurse couldn’t get a vein for my IV and my blood shot out of my arm all over the wall and my clothes. I was up on the bed, on my hands and knees rocking from side to side to try and deal with the contractions. The Midwife that happen to be on shift that night came in and started talking to me and taking all my important whatever’s. He, yes it was a male midwife, started to ask me a series of questions and determined that I was having back labor. He took his thumb and his pointer finger and placed them at a place on the small of my back and just like that my painful contraction went away and I immediately relaxed. He told me that he and his wife had ten children and that she delivered everyone of them all natural and that I could too.

Friends, I was like putty in his hands, he had taken away the discomfort of my contraction, thus wrapping me around his pinky finger! Wouldn’t you know it he had to leave and go check on his other patients so he showed my husband exactly how to touch me to help fight off my back labor pains. I will never forget he asked my husband, ” Did you catch how I did that?” to” which my husband replied yeah I got it!” The Midwife said great and promised to come back later and check on us, the moment that I had another contraction I called out to him to come and, “do the thing.” He came over and kind of poked me in the back a little and that was it.

Now you can probably imagine how terribly upset I became. I shouted and fussed! I could not understand why he would say he knew how to do it if he didn’t know how to do it!

I finally ended up begging for an epidural and delivering her three minutes before midnight. Nothing went according to plan! In fact everything that could go sideways did go sideways. In the end, there was no music playing softly in the background or a drug free delivery. No, there was no drug free delivery that night and plenty of yelling  and then I had a baby girl. The point of me telling yo this story is two fold, I want you to laugh a little, and I also want you to consider a time when things didn’t go according to your plan.

Did you fall apart or did you find a way to hold it together and create a new plan. When I realized that I was going to have my baby right after I got the epidural I was upset with myself for not waiting a few minutes longer. I was actually dialated to nine centimeters when I got the epidural.

They only gave it to me because I think they felt sorry for me. Right after I delivered her I immediately regretted the fact that I didn’t hang in there a few minutes longer, because I had to wait two hours just for the medication to ware off. Friends, wait on your promises or your dreams to come to pass. Be patient while you wait and believe that God can do just what He said. It may get hard, yo may feel uncomfortable but stick to your birth plan, even if things don’t go exactly like you wanted, you still have a promise.

My problem was that I let every little pain make me think that I should give up and change direction. Now sometimes things aren’t going to go as we plan, and that’s okay too. Sometimes the blessing is in the journey and not the arrival.

Share your stories in the comment section! Let me know how you all feel about a change of plans. Do you panic or do you roll with the punches?

Parenting through the Fear

It’s impossible to know just how much having children can change you, until you actually have children. The other day my children and I were riding down the street on the way to another Doctor’s appointment and my oldest son ,who is ten soon to be eleven,  asked me a question that really shined a light on how I allow fear to influence my parenting.

He said, “Mom since I’ll be a fifth grader in two weeks can I finally get to school early to play at the park with the other kids?” My natural response was to say, no you’re too young, but for some reason this time I said, “We’ll see.” I continued to think about all the reasons why I feel most comfortable saying no. I thought about all the things that I say no to automatically without even giving it a second thought, and the honest answer is I’m afraid. I think that I’ve always known this about myself, but I am constantly worried about the unknown. The fear of the what if scenarios.

I started to wonder how can I be a good mom if I allow my fears to dictate every decision that I make when it comes to parenting my children? If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you know that this is something that I really struggle with. I want to protect them from harm and danger, but I wonder if I’m actually hurting them more by not allowing them to have a little more freedom?

When I was a kid we walked to school every morning through the woods and nothing ever happen to us. We played outside until the street lights came on, we walked to the park with our friends, and we turned out just fine. Unfortunately, the world is a completely different place now and kids may never know the joy of roaming free until the street lights come on. I was really thinking it about it the rest of the day and finally it hit me that I survived and had a pretty goof childhood because God preserved my life, He kept me and He covered me with His wings. God is the reason why I think the world was a safe place when I was a kid, not because my town was some anomaly where there was no crime. If God can keep me and my husband then why won’t I trust Him to keep my children safe as well?

I don’t like the thought that I could be holding my children back, because of my fears. I want them to learn about life and people. I want them to learn how to deal with bullies and best friend drama, but I also want them to never get hurt and to never feel the pain of being rejected by their peers. I want my children to be okay when I drop them off at college. The only way to know how to do all the things that I just mentioned is to have real world experience. I want to trust that my sweet children will know how to carry themselves when I’m not around, so I might just allow them to have a few mornings at the park before class starts. Of course I’ll be watching from the car to make sure everything is alright.(Well, I never said I was perfect, I only said I was trying!)

It can be hard to step back and allow our children to have the freedom to make mistakes, but trusting God’s ability to handle every potential problem is the best decision we could ever make. Do you ever make important life choices from a place of fear? How do you balance allowing your children the freedom to grow and mature, with your desire to keep them safe? Let me hear from you in the comments.

Seasoned With Grace

By a show of hands, how many of you lose control of your tongue every now and then? That many? Glad to know I’m not alone! (Releases a dramatic breath that I was holding and wipes the sweat from my brow.)  Great now that I know that I’m not the only one I feel more comfortable about sharing my struggles with you all.

I have to start off by saying that I love being a Mother! I believe that I was called to be a mother to many and I wouldn’t want to live anyone else’s life; however, I’m a yeller sometimes! I think it’s 60% my personality and 40% my children! I’m just a loud girl, I laugh loudly, I cry loudly, truly no one would ever accuse me of being quiet! That’s my husband, very quiet almost never yells, and he is very reserved. Even in moments of panic or extreme joy, my hubby is very low key.

Well earlier this week my oldest was literally driving me crazy! My kids are at home on summer break for about two more weeks and I feel battle tested! He is not a rude child or disrespectful or anything like that, but he is extremely forgetful!

My child leaves everything open, he leaves the truck doors open, he forgets to close the garage door, he leaves the side gate open, water running, fridge doors open, shower running, lights on, should I continue? Even as I’m typing this I’m laughing because on paper it sounds funny!

However, I was not laughing earlier this week, and let me tell you why. We were all sitting in the truck and someone forgot their shoes, so I asked him to run back in the house and grab some shoes from the shoe area by the door right inside the foyer. Ten minutes later he comes back with a snack and puts his seat belt on while we all watch. I was flabbergasted and frustrated that he came back with food and no shoes!  Well guys I yelled at him and I felt so bad immediately because he looked so regretful, and so sad about the whole thing.

Every since that day I feel like I’ve been trying to be make sure that I don’t yell at my kids because I don’t want to sow anger into them. I would hate for my children’s memories to be filled with me yelling. I want them to feel loved and to know that I love them, because I showed them everyday.  Naturally, I prayed about it, but I was still feeling some major guilt and I just couldn’t seem to forgive myself.

I was listening to the Word while getting dressed this morning and I heard this scripture and it was exactly what I needed. Col4:6 “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.(KJV)

You may be noticing a theme with my blog this week and that was totally unintentional I promise, but once again God was dealing with me on the subject of grace. I kept meditating on that scripture and I began to realize that what I’m lacking is grace and salt. When I speak to my children I need to use words that will strengthen them where they are weak and encourage them to be better. My words should be building them up and helping them grow.  I don’t know why it’s so easy to forget that I was a child once too, and I made mistakes and forgot things just like my son. I was allowing my frustrations to control my words and because of that I was speaking seeds of frustration instead of seeds of grace, joy, life, love and encouragement. My words should comfort the hearts of my children and when I’m not guarding my tongue

I’m finding that when I hide the word in my heart, that’s what comes out of my moth when I’m frustrated and upset. I don’t want to give off the false impression that I’m perfect now, or cured from yelling and that I’ll never yell again. That may be a stretch, but I do hope that I remember the words to that verse, and other verses as well that bring my mouth back under submission to the Word of God.

We all have things that we struggle with and we all can be strengthened when we share or testimonies of how we have overcome, or how we plan to deal with our problems. Thanks for listening to my issue today, and feel free to share something that you are in the process of overcoming in the comment section. You never know it might be exactly what someone else needs to hear!

Faith Comes by Hearing

Romans 10:17″ So then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God.”

I have to be honest with you guys, I have been listening to all the negative reports from all the news outlets and my heart has been so heavy, but a few days ago something changed. I was listening to one of my favorite pastors and he said the verse above and my heart grabbed hold to it and wouldn’t let go. The truth is I had been listening to the world and it was feeding me, and the saying is true, you are what you eat. The more negative and heart wrenching stories I heard the heavier I became. I started to feel God calling me to His side, drawing me near, and I dropped everything and ran to Him.

That scripture reminded me that my faith is in God and what He said, not what the news said, or my time line on Facebook, or my group of close friends said. No, my faith, my peace, and my security can only be found in God’s word.

Friends this is a time to stay in the word of God! I immediately started playing the word everyday in my car, and while I was getting ready for the day. I began to make sure that I was reading the scriptures out loud with  my children everyday. I made it a top priority to hear the word of God and speak the word of God every day to my family and myself. Jesus said in Mathew4:4, “…Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” I had been eating from the wrong table! Somehow, I forgot who was really in charge, I forgot that God was holding the whole world in His hands and that He was still on the throne!

If you’re going to have peace that surpasses all understanding then you’re going to have to remain with God. That means that you’re going to have to know His word, and know what He said. The connection to having faith in God is hearing God’s word daily. We need the Lord now like never before, and we must be rooted and grounded right now. This is no time to get distracted by every sad story or every evil report. We must use the word of God like a shield and a sword, so that we can fight against the wiles, or deceptive games of the devil.

If I sound too churchy for you, sorry, but I had to really get my mind right. I was really bothered by all of the things that are going on in the world today, but hearing the word brought me back in line. It was strong enough to grab me before I strayed to far away in the wrong direction. I had to then share what God had shared with me with my children. I needed to make sure that I was leading and guiding my children in the right way as well, because I didn’t want them to have fear or anxiety because of me. This word saved me from living with fear and anxiety so I wanted to share this with you all as well.

I hope this post helped to set your heart free. I pray that these words made your heart burn as you read them. I certainly felt a weight lift off my shoulders! Please share your thoughts about this post and let me know how you feel about the state of your faith.

Control Freak

Hello my name is Torre Williams and I am a control freak parent. There you go, I admit it. I wish I cold say that I’m very relaxed and that I just go with the flow, but folks that would be a big lie!  The other day my sister and I were talking about our children and we were both lamenting the fact that we can’t make them be exactly how we want them to be. Now, I understand that as parents we are to teach our children right from wrong and take care of them, make sure that they become productive members of society and all that jazz.

However, what I did not understand when I had my first child is that we as parents can not make them be something that God has not called them to be. That is not our job as parents, our job is to be a good steward over the gift that God has given us. We have a responsibility to train our children up in the way that they should go. God wants us to point our children towards Him and His ways, not or unfulfilled life dreams, or what we think of as the definition of a man or woman.

My children are wonderful little people, but I would love to tweak a few things. I know that sounds ridiculous, and it truly is. The only reason why I want to change things is because I want them to be better than me, I want my children to be perfect! While I was talking to my sister and we were both voicing our complaints and concerns about how we want our children to talk, think and act, it hit us both that we don’t even live up to those lofty expectations ourselves! I came to the conclusion that I was actually trying to control who God called my children to be and the path that they have to travel to become the men and women that he wants them to become.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to raise my children if I can’t control them! I finally understand that God did not ask me to create my children’s personality or even to wrap them in bubble wrap to keep them safe and sound. In fact God wants me to raise them to keep His commandments, to respect and honor Him and to walk in His ways. God wants us as parents to point our children towards Him, not what we wish for them to become. We must lead them to the rock that is higher than we are. I finally understand that or children need us to encourage them to be who God designed them to be, because they were fearfully and wonderfully made by an awesome creator. Sometimes God will tell us who our children are, or who they need to become and when that happens we may have more insight as to how to raise them. If we never know until it’s obvious though, we still must love them for who they are and how they are, of course I don’t mean that we should allow them to lie, cheat or practice bad habits. As parents we have to lead our children in the right way, but I now know that we have to place the control in the right hands. It’s not my place to try and change my son’s personality, or make my daughter into my little clone. No, God already made them in His image and they already have an identity.

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