This week I went to school to pick up my older children and my two younger kids and I parked in my favorite parking spot under a tree and let the windows down to wait for school to be out. As most of you parents out there know pick-up and drop-off are two of the busiest parts of any school day, so I like to get there early. While I was parked and waiting, my other sons classmate’s Dad parked next to me. He waved and smiled and I waved and smiled at them. He and his wife were always so nice, their really truly great people. Our kids have had a few playdates and this is our children’s second year being in the same class together. It would be fair to say that they appear to be the perfect family, loving, kind and just fun to be around. It would also be correct to say that I am well acquainted with them, but we’re not close friends.
I’m not a nosey person, I tend to try and mind my own business most of the time. I always say to my kids, don’t stare that’s rude, so when I thought I noticed something off about his wife sitting next to him in his truck I chose not to dwell on it. Normally she waves at me and greets me with a huge smile, but this time she didn’t. It’s been a while since I spoke with them, but I noticed a few months ago that she had lost a lot of weight. That was odd to me, but I just thought that maybe they had been dealing with a lot of stress. I mean everyone has problems, and who am I to judge right? So, back to the story. Right before the bell rang he and his wife got out of the car, and that’s when I noticed that his wife was not his wife! It was another woman entirely, and I was very surprised. At first I thought oh, maybe that’s his sister, but then the two of them embraced in a way that would have been super creepy if they were related.
Can I just tell you that I was shocked!!! Naturally, I told my husband about it, and he promptly told me not to jump to conclusions and to not make assumptions because gossip hurts people. Of course I wasn’t planning on gossiping about it, but I really wanted to talk about it with someone who I trusted because it was bothering me. Fortunately, a good friend,( who also has children in class with their child) whom I trust explained the whole situation to me. She confirmed that the couple, had indeed just gone through a divorce.
Ladies, this was not just about me being nosey or malicious. I can’t quite explain it to you, but this became like a personal warning to me. It felt close to home, because I instantly thought that if that could happen to them, then it could happen to anyone. I want to acknowledge that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, but having said that, their public face was very convincing. Whenever I would see that family together they would all be smiling and holding hands. During school events this couple would sit close to each other and touch in some way, always sharing a love connection, or so I thought. They were the couple that I would want to be honestly. They just always seemed so happy together. Learning the news about their divorce made me want to reexamine my own marriage and the strength of the love that my husband and I share.
We love each other and that’s no doubt, but we go through our fair share of ups and downs that’s for sure. We live a life that in many ways comes with more stress than the average couple and sometimes we handle it well, other times we don’t. It’s not all sunshine and roses over here. We have had many days that include rain and dark clouds. I found myself thinking, “Man what could have come between them to the point that they decided to throw away their whole marriage?”
I don’t know what the future holds, but I pray that we, my husband and I, will always honor our commitment that we made to God and our family to love and cherish one another. I pray that we stay together and that we grow together and not apart.
I prayed for that couple and I asked God to comfort them and mend their hearts and help them to co-parent with love and compassion. I also came home and tried to show my husband how much I love and appreciate him. I know that our actions are sometimes the first things to suffer when we get comfortable in our relationships. It’s so easy to take your spouse for granted.
Truly, the time to build a strong marriage is not when you recognize that there is a problem, but everyday. During the hardest times, the times when you are sleep deprived from being up late at night with a crying baby, or when you go through a difficult time at work. When we face real adversities and experience painful struggles that test our resolve and make us stronger. To me challenges build character and create opportunities for couples to make positive changes that strengthen their relationship. Not every storm will make us feel closer together, but every storm has the possibility to bring us closer together and closer to God as well.
I firmly believe that God causes all things to work together for our good.(Rom.8:28)
God bless you all and remember to show the ones that are essential to your joy and happiness that you truly love and appreciate them today!