These past two weeks have been a real world wind for me, my children went back to school and my husband was gone for a few weeks and I was treading water for a while there! Well in the midst of back to school shopping and saying goodbye to summer and hello to our bedtimes again my children ran into a few problems with a neighborhood bully. Now I feel like I need to say that my children were homeschooled until 2015 and up until then they have not had very many run-ins with bullies.
When they started school they had some encounters with rude kids, but all in all they seem to find good people to befriend and play with. Well all that changed this summer when one of the older girls started being mean to them and a few of the other younger kids on the block. It was hard at first to see my children upset and my first instinct was to go outside and deal with that situation and protect my children from that evil little child who was bullying my kids, but I felt restrained from marching out there and handling things.
Instead, I felt that God wanted me to be quiet and allow my children to handle the situation for themselves. I could hear that still small voice speaking to my heart saying, “No Torre, let them learn how to stand up to bullies. They can do it, you can trust God to protect them just like He protected you.” I knew it was God so I let the blinds down to the kitchen window and waited for them to come back inside.
We had a long talk about what was said and how it made them feel and why it was important to stand up for themselves, and it was probably harder for me to experience than it was for them. I knew the best thing for me to do was to offer them advice and talk to them about how I handle bullies and make sure that I let them know they can always talk to me and their dad about what’s happening. I tell my children to let their teacher’s know, and any other adults that might need to know. We talked for a long time that evening, and I learned so much about my children and I learned so much about myself.
Being silent during a time when I want to speak out most is the second hardest thing for me to do! The first hard thing was giving birth to five children with heads like their dad!!!After talking with my kids, I realized how mature they were. At the same time I began to understand why it was important for their growth and development that I not try to step in and save them from every bad situation. As much as I want to protect my children from every evil, that’s not what’s best for them every time. Some times it’s actually better for them to work through a problem on their own, while I practice being silent.
This doesn’t mean that I will be absent or that I won’t be there to guide them when they need me, but it does mean that I will allow them to learn how to handle real life situations. In the real world, people are rude and they say and do things that may hurt our feelings or make us angry. The fact is that I won’t always be there to step in and rescue them, no in the cold real world they will have to know how to handle themselves accordingly. You know what, that scares me so bad!! I hate the thought that my sweet little kiddos will have to learn to live in a world where mommy might not always be able to save them.
It’s even more difficult to be silent and allow them the opportunity to figure things out on their own. However, I guess the truth is when I was a kid my mom managed to do it for me. I respect her so much more now that I know how hard it is to trust God with your most prized possessions, after all He knew and loved them before we ever met them. Have yo ever had to be quiet when you really wanted to say something? How did you handle a tough situation that you knew God wanted yo to be silent through? Maybe you didn’t have to worry about a child, maybe it was a work thing or an injustice done to you. How did you find the strength to keep quiet and let God fight your battle for you? Share your story in the comment section.