No more negative Nancy

You might be familiar with the title, it’s what we call someone who is very negative. You might even use the phrase, “Vibe Killer.” I typically don’t use either of theses phrases, but I feel like confessing to you all today. I am so mean to myself and the things that I say to myself during self talk, I would never say to my own daughter…or anyone else for that matter.

Ask yourself this question, “Do you have a problem with negative self talk?”

What kind of things do you say to yourself when your jeans won’t button, or if your “fat jeans,” are snug? What about when you make a mistake or forget something very important, what names do you call yourself?  I can tell you that the names that I call myself I would absolutely never call one of my friends or even a stranger! I will be the first to admit that this is abusive behavior that I practice towards myself and I’m trying to stop.

The thing that I often ask myself whenever I catch myself being mean to myself is, “Why?” The answer is not as simple as the question though, because a simple I don’t know just doesn’t seem to satisfy.

I believe that the moment that I made myself more aware of the hurtful and negative words that I was speaking over my life it became a problem that I am determined to solve. I really started looking at it from the perspective of, “would I want those words to manifest in my life?” The answer was no of course not.

I remember ten years ago thinking I was fat, so I called myself fat all the time. However, now when I see pictures of me I think, “why on earth did I call myself fat then? I’m bigger now then I was back then! Then I thought, what if I gained weight because that’s what I spoke over my life everyday, so subconsciously, I stopped even trying to maintain a healthy weight? I really truly believe that words have an effect on us, they can build us up or tear us down.

One of the most impactful things that I did to combat all the negative words and mean self talk, was to write down scriptures that pronounce God’s love or positive things about me on a piece of paper and put them on my mirror. By hanging them on my mirror, I never forget to say them everyday. I also pump positivity into my mind, and heart as often as I can throughout the day. I listen to positive music, I speak positive words over my day, and make a huge effort to chase away negative thoughts that otherwise might turn into negative words.

I guess you could say that I have resolved to stop the negative self talk. I set some goals to help me overcome negative self talk and I’m making progress everyday. I want to hear what you would do to combat negative self talk? Do you have any suggestions that you’d like to share? Leave them in the comment section! Thanks for stopping by!

Strength In Numbers

Recently my kids have been arguing with each other a lot, and when I say a lot I mean like non-stop. It finally got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I called them all to me and made them stand in front of me in the order of their birth.  My intentions were to talk to them about how important it was to respect each other because even though their siblings, that doesn’t mean that they have to be friends. My mother use to tell my sister and me this all the time. It was part of the glue that held us together after she died. Knowing that this is one of the few people on this earth that has some of the same memories that of my mother that I do.

Unfortunately, my little talk ended with everyone crying and hugging each other saying, “I don’t want to leave and go to college Mommy!” You guessed it, my talk went sideways a little bit, but I think that they got the point.

I don’t know why it’s so easy for us to be the cruelest to the ones we love the most. For some unknown reason, we seem to hurt the ones whom we are the closest to everyday. Maybe it’s just human nature to take for granted the value of someone is constantly there for us, consistently adding worth to who we are.

As I was talking to my children I made them each say something nice to every one going down the line. Then I told each of them a strength that I admired about them and that I personally wanted to emulate. I then told each of them how many more years they had to live together until they went to college.  When my oldest son heard that he only had about seven more years to live at home sharing a room with his little brothers. That’s what brought on the tears! It hit each and every one of us pretty hard.

We all started to cry because when you put it like that, it’s a really short time to have someone’s full attention. The message that I was trying to get across to them was understood so perfectly in that moment. I started to tear up and then one-by-one they did too. Everybody piled in and started saying things like, “I’m sorry for being so mean to you,” and “I love you too.” It was priceless, that moment.

I was holding all my children close to my heart and trying to reassure them that they could always come home and that we would always be family, but I wanted them to understand how important it is that we treat one another well. I stressed to them that being a large family is not a troublesome burden, but a wonderful blessing. There is always a friend to play with, a shoulder to lean on, and buddy who knows just what your going through. We’ll always have each other. There is strength in numbers.

The Golden Rule

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog, I’ve been caught up in the mommy whirl wind, but I’m back now!

I was at my local everything store with a very short list of things that I needed to get in a very short amount of time. It was so packed! This particular store has low prices, so there’s always a lot of people shopping there and milling about up and down the isles. There are not enough words for me to describe to you how absolutely RUDE some people are!! I have now lived in quite a few different places and I can tell yo that southern hospitality is no myth!!

I have to say, I travel with a large group; however, we try to be mindful of walking to one side, or moving out of the way, you know we try to practice good manners. We don’t practice good manners because we’re trying to impress others or to win an award. We do this because I truly believe in treating others the way that I would want to be treated. Where did I get this from you ask? Matthew 7:12. This is what Jesus said and He himself was quoting the law. Some people referee to this as the golden rule.

What I’m trying to say to you is that we can not separate the Word of God from good morals. It’s impossible to treat people with loving kindness if you do not know real true love that comes from God. It frustrates me that people think you can separate God and Kindness. If you think that you can be polite, kind, and loving, without knowing the Christ, I am here to say that you can not. How can we show love to others if we ourselves have not accepted real love that comes from God the Father?

It seems like a new age trend is sweeping the world, the doctrine of kindness. That sounds nice when you first hear it, but I ask you to go deeper. How can someone, who does not know the one true God who loved us when we were unlovable? In Christ, we have been shown the perfect example of what it means to have compassion and mercy for someone, all while compelling them to be the best version of themselves.

One of my most favorite Christian movies is about a man who travels to the future to see what can happen to a society who tries to remove the principals of God, while keeping the moral code that a Christian lifestyle creates. Friends you can’t do it, it’s like trying to stop water from being wet!  You can not ask someone to simply be kind to others without also asking them to commit themselves to living a life that is acceptable unto God.

Ask yourself this; who told you that it was wrong to tell a lie? Now that you have answered that question where did they get it from? I have so much more that I can say about how I think our world has eroded the foundation of moral soundness by leaving behind the principles of the Word of God. Now, I was talking to my husband and he pointed out that plenty of people are kind to others and show generosity and respect and their not Christians. Many of them follow the teachings of other faiths and I agree with that, some people are kind to others and I get that. I just truly feel that we can not separate the doctrine of Christ from the genuine love and strong morality that comes along with the Christian faith.

Nevertheless, I want to hear from you, the readers! tell me your thoughts on this subject. I’m thinking of doing a video talking more about this and posting it to my blog. Let me know what’s on your minds.

What a time to be alive

Honestly, even for those of us who try very hard not to pay attention to all the news, and Facebook post, it’s very hard to escape what’s going on in our world right now. I get so overwhelmed just hearing all the news updates! I’m to the point where I don’t want to hear another new report, read another politically charged rant, or see another meme!

It’s not that I don’t have an opinion, it’s that I have realized when you constantly consume negativity it makes your thoughts toxic. Your thoughts become more negative and fearful, and then your thoughts become your words and before too long, your words become your actions! Before too long, those unchecked thoughts of hopelessness become words that we speak and unknowingly curse ourselves.

Which brings me to what I want to talk about with you today. In the book of Numbers chapters22-25 we read about Balaam and Balak. You guys are probably familiar with the names and even the talking donkey! As with most allegories that we read in the bible there is so much in these chapters that we can take away, but I want to focus on the obvious. Balak, the king of Moab, was distressed by the presence of the Israelites because he’d heard what happen to the Egyptians. He thought the best plan would be to go to someone who could curse the Israelites and get rid of them for him. However, it turns out that Balaam could not curse what God had blessed! Balaam actually ended up blessing the Israelites three times!

Friends, if God has blessed you, no one can curse you! There is nothing that anyone can say that can stand against what our God already said about us. If you read the first few verses of chapter 25 it tells you that the Israelites, “began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab.”(Num.25:2-3) They began to worship other Gods and eventually the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel. What actually cursed them or caused them to move out of Gods favor was their own actions. What I’m trying to say is just like the Israelites we must be mindful of our own words and our own actions.  Because they have a much greater impact on who we are and what we can accomplish than what others may do to us or say about us.

While it’s true that the decisions made by our government and those in positions of authority do have an affect on us, they do not and should not govern our spiritual lives. The minute you start confessing what you see on tv or read on the internet over your own life, that’s when you start having problems. Don’t take it in, don’t allow what others are saying or pushing your way to cause you to curse yourself. The real enemy of your soul is not after your hose, bank account, or your 401k, he wants your soul, mind, will and your emotions!

When you click on the news and all of that negativity starts pouring into your home don’t think that it just goes away when you turn off the tv. You have to make spiritual deposits, grab your bible and read out loud so that you can hear the words. Faith does come by hearing by the word of God. You have to set the atmosphere in your home.  You have to remember that you are in the world, but we must labor not to become of this world. We have to fight and pray to keep ourselves in the light. It’s so easy to think that the darkness is winning, but it’s going to be okay Friends. The bible says that the word of the Lord is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.(Psalm119:105)

No matter what we may be struggling with, or what news reports has got us feeling  like we’re living in the very last minutes of the last day! God has already called you blessed, and what God has blessed no man can curse. I can not stress this enough, we have to feast on the WORD of God. This is a time like never before and we must bombard heaven with our prayers and fill our hearts with faith.

No matter what this situation is, no matter how bad things look, let’s remember who’s in control. I pray that we always hear the words that Jesus spoke to the disciples,” Peace I leave with you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (Jh.14:27)

Have you been fighting off the same feeling of hopelessness and darkness that I’m describing? If so, what are you doing to combat the Spirit of despair that seems to be consuming so many people in our world right now? What are yo doing to spread good news? More than anything people need to hear the good news right now. I want to hear about it in the comments!