My topic is the question that you have to ask yourself, before you can really achieve your goals. How bad do you want it? It doesn’t matter what, “it” is either. The truth is that you are going to have to give up something in order to obtain what you really want. If it means enough to you then you will gladly give up things that you love, or enjoy so that you can have something that you want more than anything in the world.
I always use the example of losing weight because it’s a clear depiction of what one must do to get what they want. Give up poor eating habits and add healthy food choices plus exercise and you will see a positive change in your health and your dress size.
However, recently I was just reading through the post on my timeline and there was a question being posed by someone who I recently started following. Her question was really simple, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” The funniest thing happen to me, my mind went completely blank! The first thing I thought was, “Oh in five years my children will be this age and Hubby will be at this point in his career.” Unfortunately, I could not think of one thing for myself. I had no idea what I even wanted for myself. Everything that I could think of was centered around my husband and my children and nothing about me.
Last week I wrote a post, The Insignificant Momma, about how I have developed this terrible habit of putting myself dead last, and this is in some ways a side affect of feeling insignificant. I was really struggling to think of some things that I wanted to see myself accomplish. Because this issue was really bothering me, I asked my Hubby what his five year plan was, and immediately he named like ten things that he would like to have accomplished.
Although I can’t say I was surprised, I was a little disappointed that I could not do the same thing. I seem to only think of myself as a Stay-at-Home Mom and therefore, I have placed all these limits and restrictions on who I can be and where I can go in life. You all can see this that it’s a lot easier for me to say that I’m putting myself than it is for me to actually do! Anyway, after I told him my five year goals, which are pretty lofty goals by the way, he stopped what he was doing and looked me right in the eyes and said, “Well how bad do you want it?”
I was kind of taken aback at first because I wasn’t expecting that question. I kind of thought he would give me his usual, “I believe you can do it Honey.” Instead he challenged me to actually be serious about my future. Funny thing is that I really have no answer for how badly I want any of those things. While I would like to accomplish at least one of them, I can’t say that I want anything so badly that I’m willing to make a sacrifice to have it.
That is where my topic came from. Is there anything in your life that you want so badly that you’re willing to make uncomfortable choices just to have it? Are you willing to lose sleep, sacrifice your weekends and miss important family events just so you can reach your goals? If the answer to any of those things is no, then you don’t really want it. I had to get real with myself and honestly ask myself what was holding me back? The only thing that I can think of is fear. Fear is what typically keeps me from pursuing things, an extremely strange fear that I will succeed at something other than being a good wife and mother.
I had a good long talk with myself and I came to the conclusion that I need to get out of my comfort zone and do something that scares me. I think that it would for be good for me to challenge myself again, to really learn how to live my life again. Intellectually, I know that I have to prioritize my own happiness, but when it comes to actually doing it, I struggle with feeling guilty. Mommy Guilt is real people! I don’t want to be the woman whose children leave home and she just crumbles because she doesn’t know how to live without mothering her children.
Some of my goals were to write and publish two more books, have one of my books turned into a movie, be in the best shape of my life and to possibly go back to school as well as teaching in the classroom. Of course I’m afraid that I might fail at something and I’m a little bit terrified that I might succeed and that my success will take me away from my family, but I want to try more than I want to wait and see.
I don’t know why I struggle with that, but it seems to just keep coming up time and again! So, I really want to hear from you ladies! I love getting your feedback, and I think you ladies give some really good advice. Have you ever had to ask yourself, “How bad do you want it?” If you have had to sit your self down and have a come to Jesus meeting with yourself, how did you overcome that?