Mommy’s Mental Health

“Happy Wife, Happy Life.” I don’t know who came up with that phrase, but it sounds about right to me! Often times it is the Woman, Wife, or Mother who sets the atmosphere in the family and in the home. If we as women, have very strong negative reactions to everything, and we respond with negativity then our home can become a very hostile and tense environment that restricts the flow of joy. However, if we respond to our family with love and kindness, positivity and grace, that same home will be a place filled with joy and happiness.

Our attitude about our life and our unique set of circumstances can in fact determine the whole altitude of our family. You guys know that I have five children, so while I am not an mental health expert, I do know a little something about feeling overwhelmed and stressed out! On top of just being a momma to five, I’m also a military wife and that comes along with a whole other set of stressors. I sometimes feel like I have too many balls in the air to keep up with and I’m sure at times, you do as well.

I genuinely feel like I have the hardest job in the world some days, and on other days I cry tears of joy because I feel so privileged to be blessed enough to have this opportunity to be at home with my children. I remember when I first talked to someone about the whole, “mental health thing,” we were living in North Carolina and about three different, women whose husbands were deployed, had snapped and took the life of their children. I remember talking with other Mothers who were strangers to me, except that our husbands were both deployed and we each had young children. We talked about how sad it was, and questioned how a mother could ever get to that point, we even talked about where one might go to seek help if they too, felt on the verge of hurting someone.

And yet, there was still this really judgmental, critical tone to our whole conversation. Looking back, knowing more about life and the trials that it can bring and the struggles that we all face, sometimes completely alone, I can clearly see why a woman would be afraid to seek help for feeling like the inadequate mother.  Ladies, if I knew then what I know now, I would have said that we are all learning how to mother our children. I would have lovingly confessed to that group of playground mothers, with their fancy hair and make-up, their designer strollers and diaper bags, that not one of us is left untouched by depression and bad days.

We all like to think of ourselves as being better off than someone else, or more grounded with a tighter grip on reality, but the truth is we could all be just one minute away from a soul shaking, life altering situation that could change us forever. Our minds are so fragile, and while I can not speak for anyone else, I can tell you that I have cried many days and some nights too, because I felt like I might break under the weight of the life that I have chosen.

I would be trying to cover up my own ugly truth if I failed to acknowledge that I have rough seasons just like everyone else.  I’m saying all of that to say this, if you ever start to feel like you are the only one going through the terrible two’s, or like you’re the only mother with a child who is struggling in school, or perhaps you feel like you’re not a good keeper of the home, you are not alone.  I would encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you, or at least point you in the right direction to get the help that you need. You are not less than because you’re having trouble dealing with stress or the pressures of this life. You are simply human. In our own strength we can do very little.

I don’t know where I would be if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side. I would have been lost, I could have been dead, or worse I could have been in Hell lifting up my eyes, forever separated from the one true God. My connection to God has been my rock, whenever I feel weary. In addition to my relationship with God, I also have some awesome and amazing women in my life that are only a phone call away. I can reach out to them and feel confident that they’re going to give me some sound, and wise counsel.

I think that the hardest part of admitting that we need help or that we’re struggling in a really bad way is that we’re afraid of what, “people,” will say about us. Friends, don’t allow the potential voices of criticism stop you from getting what you need to help you heal or be restored. I have found out the hard way that those people that I am so afraid of can not save me, or deliver me from trouble. The only one who can do that is the Lord above. I find comfort in talking to my trusted friends, going to Mommy support groups at my local church, or even by calling my family members who can tell me about how I was as a child. Sometimes my perspective is just skewed because I’m not looking at my child through the eyes of grace.

If any of you reading this article feel like you need to talk to someone about your own mental health I encourage you to call Mental Health America 1-800-969-6642. I also would direct you to www.womenshealth.gov where you can find the number that I listed above, as well as several other phone number that might help you get in touch with the right people who can help you overcome whatever battles you might be fighting.

Have a Blessed week and I hope yo reach back and help someone who might not be where you are right now. Help someone else get over the hump this week!

“Happy Wife, Happy Life.” I don’t know who came up with that phrase, but it sounds about right to me! Often times it is the Woman, Wife, or Mother who sets the atmosphere in the family and in the home. If we as women, have very strong negative reactions to everything, and we respond with negativity then our home can become a very hostile and tense environment that restricts the flow of joy. However, if we respond to our family with love and kindness, positivity and grace, that same home will be a place filled with joy and happiness.

Our attitude about our life and our unique set of circumstances can in fact determine the whole altitude of our family. You guys know that I have five children, so while I am not an mental health expert, I do know a little something about feeling overwhelmed and stressed out! On top of just being a momma to five, I’m also a military wife and that comes along with a whole other set of stressors. I sometimes feel like I have too many balls in the air to keep up with and I’m sure at times, you do as well.

I genuinely feel like I have the hardest job in the world some days, and on other days I cry tears of joy because I feel so privileged to be blessed enough to have this opportunity to be at home with my children. I remember when I first talked to someone about the whole, “mental health thing,” we were living in North Carolina and about three different, women whose husbands were deployed, had snapped and took the life of their children. I remember talking with other Mothers who were strangers to me, except that our husbands were both deployed and we each had young children. We talked about how sad it was, and questioned how a mother could ever get to that point, we even talked about where one might go to seek help if they too, felt on the verge of hurting someone.

And yet, there was still this really judgmental, critical tone to our whole conversation. Looking back, knowing more about life and the trials that it can bring and the struggles that we all face, sometimes completely alone, I can clearly see why a woman would be afraid to seek help for feeling like the inadequate mother.  Ladies, if I knew then what I know now, I would have said that we are all learning how to mother our children. I would have lovingly confessed to that group of playground mothers, with their fancy hair and make-up, their designer strollers and diaper bags, that not one of us is left untouched by depression and bad days.

We all like to think of ourselves as being better off than someone else, or more grounded with a tighter grip on reality, but the truth is we could all be just one minute away from a soul shaking, life altering situation that could change us forever. Our minds are so fragile, and while I can not speak for anyone else, I can tell you that I have cried many days and some nights too, because I felt like I might break under the weight of the life that I have chosen.

I would be trying to cover up my own ugly truth if I failed to acknowledge that I have rough seasons just like everyone else.  I’m saying all of that to say this, if you ever start to feel like you are the only one going through the terrible two’s, or like you’re the only mother with a child who is struggling in school, or perhaps you feel like you’re not a good keeper of the home, you are not alone.  I would encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you, or at least point you in the right direction to get the help that you need. You are not less than because you’re having trouble dealing with stress or the pressures of this life. You are simply human. In our own strength we can do very little.

I don’t know where I would be if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side. I would have been lost, I could have been dead, or worse I could have been in Hell lifting up my eyes, forever separated from the one true God. My connection to God has been my rock, whenever I feel weary. In addition to my relationship with God, I also have some awesome and amazing women in my life that are only a phone call away. I can reach out to them and feel confident that they’re going to give me some sound, and wise counsel.

I think that the hardest part of admitting that we need help or that we’re struggling in a really bad way is that we’re afraid of what, “people,” will say about us. Friends, don’t allow the potential voices of criticism stop you from getting what you need to help you heal or be restored. I have found out the hard way that those people that I am so afraid of can not save me, or deliver me from trouble. The only one who can do that is the Lord above. I find comfort in talking to my trusted friends, going to Mommy support groups at my local church, or even by calling my family members who can tell me about how I was as a child. Sometimes my perspective is just skewed because I’m not looking at my child through the eyes of grace.

If any of you reading this article feel like you need to talk to someone about your own mental health I encourage you to call Mental Health America 1-800-969-6642. I also would direct you to www.womenshealth.gov where you can find the number that I listed above, as well as several other phone number that might help you get in touch with the right people who can help you overcome whatever battles you might be fighting.

Have a Blessed week and I hope yo reach back and help someone who might not be where you are right now. Help someone else get over the hump this week!