Today I went with my son on his final field trip in elementary school!! Where has the time gone? I miss him being a little guy, running around playing and the cute little way he use to talk. I mean right now he still acts like an innocent child, but he looks older and he’s almost taller than me! Then there’s the fact that he’s going to middle school!
I can hardly believe that he’s only going to be in middle school for three short years! I feel like now my husband and I are on this downhill slide into our first child leaving the nest! I know I’m jumping the gun a little bit here, but I can’t help it, my mind just zooms to the college drop off scene. Ekk! At one point I thought time was moving so slowly, and I was wishing for the day that he would be the age that he is now!
As I road back on the luxury coach ( a big fancy bus with stairs, TV’s and bathrooms.) I watched My son from a distance, I wasn’t allowed to sit with him, laughing and talking with his friends and I started to miss him. I know it sounds silly since I was watching him like a creeper from two rows over. Even though he was a few feet away, the fact that he didn’t need to be close to me to be comfortable really resonated with my heart. Of course I’m glad that he’s becoming more independent and mature, but I realize that this is just the beginning of many more trips and outings where he won’t want me to sit with him, or hold his hand. (I have to pause and grab a tissue now.) What really hit me is that he’s becoming a young man, and everything that we do together, every memory that we create is seasoning his life. I’m going to influence the man that he becomes. Thinking of all the ways that my parents impacted my life and help shape the woman that I am, I asked myself am I doing a good job?
What parent doesn’t want to know that their doing it right? We all need to hear that we’re doing a good job and that we’re helping our children and not hurting them, but I think it’s more complicated than a simple you’re right or wrong. The more I think about it, the more I think it’s a lot like baking a cake, you just have to wait and see. We’re not going to know everything all at once and sometimes things are going to surprise us, and we’re not going to know how to fix every problem. That’s why I have a secret weapon, prayer!
Looking at him today and watching how well behaved he was and how respectful and responsible he was made me so proud to be his momma, but it also made me feel like I need to savor these moments more. If anyone comes up with a time machine, let me know!
I hope you ladies are being sure to cherish the time that you have with your little ones, and if your children are in a different phase of life I hope you still treasure the time that you spend with your kids.
Have a great weekend everyone!